What is Love?

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One thing that has been bothering me…well not exactly bothering but I’ve been questioning is what people consider love to be. Me personally,  I’m not sure what love is. From what I hear, it’s one of the greatest things in life to experience & also that it’s unconditional but in a time that’s so temporary wonder if love still exists or is it just lust & attachments that people associate love with. This post makes me think about the Valentine’s Day episode of Orange is the New Black when they asked the prisoners what they thought love was and got different answers from each of the women. There’s no one right answer, there’s just different perspectives.

I feel like the female perspective on love is something from a Disney movie or something that makes someone feel out of this world, something that they’ve never felt before towards another person or thing, something like a passion. When I think of love, I get breathless because I’ve seen real love transform many people for the better and the thought of someone making me a better person and me doing the same for them is amazing. To have that much of a positive impact on another person has to be uplifting to the spirit. But for right now, I’m only in the love with the idea of love.

The male perspective on love is what really confuses me. As an old friend said to me once, “We are not meant to understand the opposite sex. The more you try to understand, the more you’ll get confused. We won’t understand, we just coexist.” So I won’t even try to completely understand, but I just want to know what process goes on in the male mind. There are some guys that’ll confess their love for a woman and will do things to cater to her every desire and there are some that say they love the woman in their life but disrespect her in the utmost of ways. Is that really love? Not to say that for it to be love you have to cater to your significant other’s every need but shouldn’t respect be the thing you want to give most in love? Love is a connection and how can you say you love someone if you’re not on the same level.

Love is an idea and although I’ve probably felt the strongest feelings of love, I still question what it is. What is your definition of love? How does it make you feel? Like most things, words can’t perfectly describe it but how do you know it’s love? My best friend said, “If you laugh at my bad jokes, we in love” haha. Obviously that’s just scratching the surface but that could be the beginning stages.

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7 thoughts on “What is Love?

  1. well, i too don’t exactly know what love is,
    but the charm of it is enough to fantasize about falling in it,

    and quoting you,
    ” There are some guys that’ll confess their love for a woman and will do things to cater to her every desire and there are some that say they love the woman in their life but disrespect her in the utmost of ways. Is that really love? ”

    well, in the above case, the second man might not be in love with that women, he is in love with the feeling of being in love, either it’s lust or crush, or some other kind of desire or feeling.

    or maybe he is trying to fulfil his some other unmet desire/need by disrespecting,
    be it boasting his ego, or getting a feeling of being important or a sense of dominance, that even after ridiculing his partner, she won’t leave him, and so he can iterate it, and feel how above her, he is.
    Well, it might get detrimental in future, but that depends on the couple and their situation and a thousand more things.

    or it may happen that to that man, giving and receiving respect doesn’t comes under the the roof of love, it is off his radar, he internally respects his partner but does act like he doesn’t for some other reason (maybe the ones stated above),
    love might just includes some other kind of affection or fantasies,
    like gifts exchange, physical intimacy or some other thing, that he thinks makes love lovely.

    in the end, it all boils down to one’s own beliefs, someone thinks respect is essential to a relationship, someone thinks its not.
    while for two people with similar beliefs may get along,
    if both partners think that giving respect isn’t at all necessary to their relationship, then they both might be ridiculing and doing whatever to each other, which the society might not consider, respectful love, but then that’s their definition to make,
    and they are in love, happy and what not.

    and other people are like, look at that, how __________?
    you know whatever.

    and all the above things are not gender specific, you might even know a drama queen who just doesn’t give a fuck about her partner, who is just another fella in love, who just can’t let it go.

    it’s all dependent of beliefs a person holds.

    and then there’s this thing called intensity, a person might feel love to a certain degree for a partner and this also happens for normal relations,
    you might respect someone more than another person, even though there’s nothing like you know that that person is above the other, but there are several other psychological factors.

    ==================================================================================

    and love is what it is, yeah i would have asked Shakespeare, but he died,
    and rumours are he too stole his works from someone else. Break.

    when you fall in love, you are falling, but you just keep falling,
    you don’t resist, and you feel like you never did before,
    feeling an emotion so intense, it quantifies equal to most of you life in a single moment,
    and you just smile and smile and smile.

    and the laughing on bad jokes things, i have seen it,
    when you fall in love, you just fall in love with that person,
    and how they make you feel, and you just smile, no matter what they speak,
    and when it’s a silly joke you laugh, when it’s a real joke, you laugh like you never did,

    and he/she smiles back, and you feel like you never did before,
    [unless you had fallen in love before, then that’s second time, but still it’s different].

    and,
    just fall in love, you will know, how much pages gets inked by every single moment,
    i can’t just keep on going, or can i, oh.

    “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”― Dr. Seuss

    and you smile, and smile and smile…

    Like

    • Right! I completely agree that the perspective of what love is is based undoubtedly on what a person believes. Gender was just a simple way of comparing and contrasting the differences between perspectives but as you said it’s not necessarily the only way to look at it. The points you mentioned above are completely valid and I appreciate them! We’re here to give each other insight and it’s great to see that I could make you think about all those different perspectives. Life is all about perspectives. And although your comment is longer than the original post (haha), I love the fact that I could play commentator in this situation, that’s what this was for!

      The mentioning of passion and intensification is what really intrigued me because I think that’s what makes people love love the most. Just as you said, “feeling an emotion so intense, it quantifies equal to most of you life in a single moment, and you just smile and smile and smile”, now I think that’s the perfect definition of love. I think it’s perfect because I think love is something that has to equate to something as large as life itself. Love is something that no one knows what it is until they experience it and when you do it experience it, the thought of it takes over your entire existence. Now these are just my scattered thought but I’m sure more will come to me as I read your comment over and over because it definitely made me think deeper about love myself. Thanks!

      Like

      • as i noticed multiple times,
        “Now these are just my scattered thought”,
        i will come back to this in a minute,

        well, you know what, it’s al-right, we think a lot, and a lot means a lot,
        well, our posts or comments are only a fraction of what we are thinking in reality,
        but guess what there isn’t a equipment which can just read our mind,
        and type on word processor whatever crosses our mind,

        and so you, me, and writers all around the world struggle with this feeling,

        and i think, that MAYBE, you too are struggling with the fear of being judged,
        that maybe your incomplete thought,
        yeah, the way you put it, “your scattered thoughts”.

        now, maybe you are writing that because you think, by writing that these thoughts are scattered, you are explaining (or excusing) in advance from any shortcoming on your part,
        that may include to forget to include some critical part of your thought process,
        or some other issue, that will tell your readers, that this an incomplete informal draft,
        kind of post and please if you get disturbed or offended by some of the content,
        it is incomplete. Period. Sigh of Relief.

        now, just a few words on that,
        believe me we are imperfect and heaven forbid, we might all be wrong about everything we know of till date,
        and if fine to write, these are some scaterred thoughts,

        but never ever fear judgement,
        it will give you things to ponder upon,
        and maybe it may never arrive.

        so you may feel insecure about being judged, we all do,
        i don’t even show my articles and poems to anyone else because of the same reason,
        i just write and dump them into some folder (real world folder),
        on save them on my computer.

        i am thinking of releasing them slowly to the world, in perfect form,
        and that fear of perfection, and being judged have left my blog barren,
        when i have already written a lot.

        wow, i got something for my own self improvement.
        thanks!

        so be truly vulnerable, be incompletely complete, be imperfectly perfect.
        try to be right, but don’t fear being wrong.

        #
        if you find something important,
        copy it in notepad file, and you are free to delete this comment..

        sounds great.

        Like

      • and don’t ever fear judgement,
        man, that’s deteremental,
        write whatever speaks to you,

        =have a look at my blog, it’s like WHAT?

        whatever makes you feel good,
        i won’t judge you,

        but even if one day, everyone says you are wrong,
        don’t give a fuck, they don’t know any better,
        yeah me too, if i shout too much judging you,
        block me.

        wait, you turned me against myself, whatever.

        and just once in a while, give your perspective a check.

        adios.

        TIP:
        make notes of all the noteworthy ideas.
        i use microsoft one-note.

        if you haven’t used it yet,
        go use it, if you don’t already have it installed, ask me,
        yeah, you can thank me later.

        Like

      • “but I’m sure more will come to me as I read your comment over and over
        because it definitely made me think deeper about love myself. Thanks!”

        you know what, i read(skimmed) your post and my comment once again,
        now for a moment,
        i wrote that shit a few days back, but you know what i don’t remeber much of it myself. yeah wtf.

        but that’s fine, that were my scattered thoughts and i can connect to them any time,
        my beliefs and percpective get it, somehow.

        ##

        and well, yeah, reading comments and posts again surely did work for me,
        to introspect and stuff,
        see what your last response did to me, and will do to you too,
        seriously i am amazed by your capability to trigger me to amaze myself, and vice versa.
        and whatever the preceding sentence meant.

        you know just wow,
        this is getting awesome.

        :-X !

        Like

    • again,
      try ms one-note, and try note-taking,

      another,
      do i talk a lot,
      or should i say write a lot.

      comment on this, after you finish commenting on other comments.
      wow,
      don’t be scared, yeah i am more than you can handle,
      i am more than i can handle myself,

      but believe me NUMB_ON_REQUEST service available.

      Like

  2. you know what awkward is,
    writing a comment longer than the original post.

    and then wondering that you are a great writer,
    but then thinking you never wrote such a post by yourself,
    you are a damn commentator, or something in between.

    or something else.
    shit, i messed up again.

    Liked by 1 person

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